Well it's not oleander tea...

I was standing alongside a friend at the supermarket while she was buying a Coke and crisps which I found myself immediately lusting for.
"They're for my husband," she told me with a real huff to her tone. "He's whinging about having a multigrain sandwich with alfalfa and he wanted a Coke. I added the chips because hopefully it'll put him that little bit closer to heart disease and I won't have to put up with his moaning for as long."
And on the other side of me another woman said...
"I don't see anything wrong with that. Occasionally I slip an extra spoonful of sugar in my husband's coffee and think 'just you wait'."

Overheard in TinyTown

Late on a week night, talking to a drunked fish farmer who was trying to incite me to stay up and be bad, I commented on what a cruisy job he and his mates had and how he could afford to go to work as a zombie.
His reply?
"What, you think the fish grow all by themselves?"

Mmmmh...yes?