Well it's not oleander tea...

I was standing alongside a friend at the supermarket while she was buying a Coke and crisps which I found myself immediately lusting for.
"They're for my husband," she told me with a real huff to her tone. "He's whinging about having a multigrain sandwich with alfalfa and he wanted a Coke. I added the chips because hopefully it'll put him that little bit closer to heart disease and I won't have to put up with his moaning for as long."
And on the other side of me another woman said...
"I don't see anything wrong with that. Occasionally I slip an extra spoonful of sugar in my husband's coffee and think 'just you wait'."

Overheard in TinyTown

Late on a week night, talking to a drunked fish farmer who was trying to incite me to stay up and be bad, I commented on what a cruisy job he and his mates had and how he could afford to go to work as a zombie.
His reply?
"What, you think the fish grow all by themselves?"

Mmmmh...yes?

One for the office quote book

While moving furniture around in an office clean-out, I was greatly amused by the following exchange, regarding a small, low cabinet we had no further use for:

C: "What are we going to do with the credenza?"

B: "The what??"

C: "The credenza - this thing."

B: "But, but I thought a credenza was, you know, la la la la la LA LA LAAAA!"

C: "You idiot, that's a crescendo!"

D: (from the adjoining office) "No, THAT'S a cacophony..."

Age and perception...

My friend talking about her 40th birthday:
"I had a great time - I felt like I was 20 on Saturday night...and I felt like 80 on Sunday."

Snippets of singledom...

One of the old Tradies saying to me..."Wow RHR, I've never realised how beautiful your eyes are."
And me replying..."that's because you've never looked me in the eyes before."

Sitting at a bonfire on the beach (several weeks ago now) while a prowling LLP settles himself on my yakhair pashmina (love that thing) alongside me, looks at me intensely and speaks in his special, very low, 'take me seriously and fuck me frivolously' voice.
The worst example of a sad single mum I know shows up. She's on a mission. Apparently he's it.
He's leaning in, I'm leaning away and she leaps in between us from five metres away, grabs him by the ears and tries to snare his tonsils FIVE INCHES FROM MY NOSE.
And, without blinking, he turns (only his head) to her and says "chill sweetheart, I said I'd root you" and goes back to talking to me.
Scary!

Overheard in TinyTown

This one's worth blogging, even though it happened at an aquaculture facility near TinyTown, as opposed to Roxby Downs' desert community.

An industry leader discussing why the tuna aren't naturally producing babies in captivity yet.
"When I was young, I could make love to any woman, any where, any time. Nowadays the mood has to be right, the lighting has to be right, the bed has to be right.
"The scientists tell me, fish are the same - everything must be just right."

This is the same man who, as the recipient of an Order of Australia, pointed out that when his tuna breed he'd like another award thankyou.
"I'm German - we like medals."
I suggested, perhaps, a helmet might be more appropriate in that case.

Teen lust!

While standing in a large line up to order my healthy Subway salad, a young girl and her boyfriend entered and stood behind me. After the kind of passionate embrace that makes you want to tell people to "get a room," I heard Girl say: "Gee, it's really stuffy in here." Boy replied swiftly and without any hesitation, "Ah, yeah, that's because you're really steaming!"